Tag Archives: victim

Rhianna: Influential Siren for Anger Management

8 Sep

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn

Well that’s alright because I like the way it hurts

Just gonna stand there and hear me cry

Well that’s alright because I love the way you lie

I love the way you lie

—Rhianna’s chorus, Love the Way You Lie

No matter what key you sing it in, those are some controversial lyrics. This Eminem and Rhianna ditty also ranks #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100, Rap, and Ringtones lists for the past 10 weeks. Those are the words kids have been listening to on TV, in heavy rotation, and every time their phone Pavlovianly rings for two and-a-half months during their summer break by two of the most popular and controversial music artists around. After Rhianna’s beating by ex-Disney ex- Chris Brown earlier this year, how do you feel about her serenading your kids that she likes how it hurts by her B/F? What about the perennial down and hard-core Eminem’s so-called cleaned up self coming back after a three year hiatus crooning:

Don’t you hear sincerity in my voice when I talk?

Told you this is my fault, look me in the eyeball

Next time I’m pissed, I’ll aim my fist at the drywall

Next time? There won’t be no next time

I apologize, even though I know it’s lies

I’m tired of the games, I just want her back. I know I’m a liar

If she ever tries to fuckin’ leave again,

I’ma tie her to the bed and set this house on fire

I’m just gonna

One mommy of tween girls is disgusted by the abuse of Rhianna’s powerful sway over young girls (and women much older) and says, “These women have not only personal responsibility, but a professional responsibility. I get that Rihanna may not actually have a clue about the effects of what she’s putting out there just by her personal life—patterns of abusive men 1) manager who stole all her money, 2) Chris Brown 3) new boyfriend accused of abusing his last girlfriend—but let’s face it, a song condoning getting hit and threatened by a boyfriend should clearly register with her brain as this is not an ok message to send. You know, that’s why there are laws that you can’t tell people to kill someone or commit violence on the radio or TV. People listen to this info from celebs and think differently about it. Crazy, silly and scary…but true. And let’s be real, Rihanna is no one our girls should be emulating.”

While another friend and mommy of teenaged girls tells me, “Is he rapping it for her or is she singing it for him or vice versa. They both lived it, the day it happened, my girls took Chris Brown off their iPods and he’s never been back. They think she’s watching this happen to her but because she THINKS thier love is so intense, she makes excuses but eventually, she gets burned (not literally) cause she’s only fooling herself. For him, he knows he can lie and she will stay until he can’t live with himself for doing this but won’t live without her, not so far fetched…..sadly. The message is, look what’s happening if you’re on the outside, this is what it looks like, wake up or this can happen.”

I think clearly there is an age and guidance issue at hand — hey!, maybe that old Tipper Gore’s Parental Advisory thing wasn’t sooo far off the mark, despite its (lower case) nazi tendencies. I very much doubt 11-year old PopSmartie pants would have thought this was a pro-violence song, but that would be directly because of the world I live/-ed in. What about those of a malleable age who live in homes with less responsible adult guidance, environments and school cliches where it’s considered “strong” to be abusive, and so many other places where it’s awesome just to have a man…any man?

Hear it watch it and sound off in Comments.

Image: Aftermath Records

SITE IMAGE NOTICE: The images used on this website are believed to be public domain. If you feel any of these images or videos are violating your copyright, please contact (popsmartszen@gmail.com) and we will remove them as soon as possible.

© 2010 Simone da Rosa and PopSmartsZen™. All rights reserved.

Share

Identity Crisis of a Lifetime (TV)

29 Jun

HOW “REALISTIC” IS THE PORTRAYAL OF WOMEN IN MEDIA?

Comedian/actor Tracy Morgan recently rolled his eyes and pithily called Lifetime Television “Man-bashing TV.” But now — awww! — our little girlie TV network is growing up! Lifetime grew out of her training bra (the notoriously sappy woman-as-victim-cum-redeemer Harlequinesque movies starring faded but still recognizable glamorzillas of evening serials), and is now swinging her Spanx-clad hips to the “realities” of Project Runway and Tori & Dean. The programmers at the Lifetime network are trying to attract a more hip and youthful female viewer — one who likes her designer dresses and the woes of celebrity mommyhood as much as her heroine’s redemption via the stalker’s/rapist’s/killer’s comeuppance in Act 3. Fine.

HAPPY MEDIUM

Why are women — at their “own” network, no less — portrayed as either victims or fluff heads? Are we more acceptable as cartoon characters? I’m all about a happy medium like Drop Dead Diva — a series about a smart, “real-woman” attorney who wakes up in the hospital inhabited/fueled by a recently deceased, body-swapped super model. Sounds eye-rolling, but I actually find that the tribulations of a formerly frumpy, intellegent woman learning to work her inner supermodel cleverly spotlights some real issues. Heavy hitters like Rosie O’Donnell, Paula Abdul, and the Bachelor’s Jake Pavela have made guest appearances, and the show (now in Season 2) co-stars Margeret Cho. Take a look.

FULL-ON GIRL POWER

Meanwhile, in feature film land, Danish filmmaker Niels Arden Oplev recently spoke Charlie Rose (that oasis of intellegent interview shows) about the challenges of making his abuse-victim-as-heroine film The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo (based on the wildly popular Steig Larsson book). He talked about how rewarding it was to see women in the screening audiences hoot and holler in a seeming battle cry of strong identification with the repeatedly abused central female character and her bold, never-ending self-preservation and strength. Oplev said he’d intended to make a Swedish Silence of the Lambs or a La Femme Nikita (two of my all-time feminist faves), and I’d say he succeeded. Other films in this spirit include the original Alien and Long Kiss Goodnight, the identity-crisis allegory starring Geena Davis (founder of the Geena Davis Institute on Gender in Media). Check out these flicks again with fresh eyes — there’s definitely something more to these characters than sheer ass-kicking.

IDENTIFYING INSPIRATION

Despite the fact that my progressive caveman hubster scoffs at such movies as being “unrealistic” (uh, because the James Bond or Mission Impossible films are totally rooted in reality?), I stay inspired, empowered and fresh when I expose myself to films where I know the physical prowess of the heroine is usually just a visual medium’s analogy of her strength of character and mental toughness — which, in my experience of many real women out there, IS realistic! The female intelligence, emotional resilience, wily self-preservation, savvy know-how, and inspiring balancing acts featured in these films are spiritually renewing for me. They tickle my third chakra and remind me to celebrate these qualities within myself, and that I can BE and want more.

Share with me how media portrayals of girls and women make you feel. Have you ever been made to identify with an abuse victim, a fashion slave, a perfectionist mommy, fat and ugly, or some other extreme and unrelalistic caricature? What identifying media or pop culture moments have shaped, changed, or mirrored you, and have stayed with you to this day?

Image: abcpoet

SITE IMAGE NOTICE: The images used on this website are believed to be public domain. If you feel any of these images or videos are violating your copyright, please contact (simone.popsmarts@gmail.com) and we will remove them as soon as possible.

© 2010 Simone da Rosa and PopSmarts™. No materials may be used without expressed written permission.


Share

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.