Tag Archives: communications

Rhianna: Influential Siren for Anger Management

8 Sep

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn

Well that’s alright because I like the way it hurts

Just gonna stand there and hear me cry

Well that’s alright because I love the way you lie

I love the way you lie

—Rhianna’s chorus, Love the Way You Lie

No matter what key you sing it in, those are some controversial lyrics. This Eminem and Rhianna ditty also ranks #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100, Rap, and Ringtones lists for the past 10 weeks. Those are the words kids have been listening to on TV, in heavy rotation, and every time their phone Pavlovianly rings for two and-a-half months during their summer break by two of the most popular and controversial music artists around. After Rhianna’s beating by ex-Disney ex- Chris Brown earlier this year, how do you feel about her serenading your kids that she likes how it hurts by her B/F? What about the perennial down and hard-core Eminem’s so-called cleaned up self coming back after a three year hiatus crooning:

Don’t you hear sincerity in my voice when I talk?

Told you this is my fault, look me in the eyeball

Next time I’m pissed, I’ll aim my fist at the drywall

Next time? There won’t be no next time

I apologize, even though I know it’s lies

I’m tired of the games, I just want her back. I know I’m a liar

If she ever tries to fuckin’ leave again,

I’ma tie her to the bed and set this house on fire

I’m just gonna

One mommy of tween girls is disgusted by the abuse of Rhianna’s powerful sway over young girls (and women much older) and says, “These women have not only personal responsibility, but a professional responsibility. I get that Rihanna may not actually have a clue about the effects of what she’s putting out there just by her personal life—patterns of abusive men 1) manager who stole all her money, 2) Chris Brown 3) new boyfriend accused of abusing his last girlfriend—but let’s face it, a song condoning getting hit and threatened by a boyfriend should clearly register with her brain as this is not an ok message to send. You know, that’s why there are laws that you can’t tell people to kill someone or commit violence on the radio or TV. People listen to this info from celebs and think differently about it. Crazy, silly and scary…but true. And let’s be real, Rihanna is no one our girls should be emulating.”

While another friend and mommy of teenaged girls tells me, “Is he rapping it for her or is she singing it for him or vice versa. They both lived it, the day it happened, my girls took Chris Brown off their iPods and he’s never been back. They think she’s watching this happen to her but because she THINKS thier love is so intense, she makes excuses but eventually, she gets burned (not literally) cause she’s only fooling herself. For him, he knows he can lie and she will stay until he can’t live with himself for doing this but won’t live without her, not so far fetched…..sadly. The message is, look what’s happening if you’re on the outside, this is what it looks like, wake up or this can happen.”

I think clearly there is an age and guidance issue at hand — hey!, maybe that old Tipper Gore’s Parental Advisory thing wasn’t sooo far off the mark, despite its (lower case) nazi tendencies. I very much doubt 11-year old PopSmartie pants would have thought this was a pro-violence song, but that would be directly because of the world I live/-ed in. What about those of a malleable age who live in homes with less responsible adult guidance, environments and school cliches where it’s considered “strong” to be abusive, and so many other places where it’s awesome just to have a man…any man?

Hear it watch it and sound off in Comments.

Image: Aftermath Records

SITE IMAGE NOTICE: The images used on this website are believed to be public domain. If you feel any of these images or videos are violating your copyright, please contact (popsmartszen@gmail.com) and we will remove them as soon as possible.

© 2010 Simone da Rosa and PopSmartsZen™. All rights reserved.

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Smart, Practical Girls

6 Sep

3-2-1…Cue talent! Perennial cutie (I mean that in the very best ways) Drew Barrymore knows how and when to step off and take a Time Out with(-in) her relationship with Justin Long. In fact, the actress and producer of hip chick-power flicks like the ridiculously awesome and made-me-polish-my-wheels ‘Whip It’ , makes and uses her own self-help cards for when they’re just not into each other . Hers say things like, “I love you,” and “Five minutes” — a huge PopSmartsZen cheers to a woman who knows how to make potboiler movies, not relationships.

♣  ♥  ♦

Shopping List: buy a sense of humor, Madonna. Richie Rita, ya can’t afford not to. The material girl is mad she’s known and pointed out on the streets by strangers as The Material Girl. After her 1985 song by the same name (c’mon, Madge!, who didn’t understand it was an ironic commentary of the times and female power?), she’s pissed (and I don’t mean Brit for “drunk”) that people who don’t know her call her by this moniker, suggesting she is materially obsessed. Now, I love a girl after my own heart and I love Madonna — Ms. Ciccone says that while she’s not materialistic, she does love beautiful things — I get that! And thoroughly believe in it. It’s called, sing it with me: embracing the paradox. — PopSmarts

Image: Sire Records distributed by Warner Brothers or Madonna herself — not PopSmarts who’s just connecting dots visually here. But here’s the latest on worth of a name for the MG.

♣  ♥  ♦

SITE IMAGE NOTICE: The images used on this website are believed to be public domain. If you feel any of these images or videos are violating your copyright, please contact (popsmartszen@gmail.com) and we will remove them as soon as possible.

© 2010 Simone da Rosa and PopSmarts™. All rights reserved.

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High Tech Low Connection (updated)

10 Jul

Do cell phones, texts, emails and socials in fact facilitate communications, or are they the ruination of real relationships? From even the analog Halcyon Days on, I was known as Gadget Girl to my friends. But as much as I adore my gadgets and technology, does constant tech babbling make us more or actually less connected to each other?

I’ve seen the arc, having worked for years heavily with tech clients, including the giants whose products and services we all use ubiquitously daily. First there was the “digital divide” controversy that gave way (or at least media time) to the truncated and face-to-face disconnection of emailing, to concerns that our hyper texting children’s endangered development including poor spelling and socializing/-ation/skills, and finally to our current social networking phenomenon. In its short six-year existence, Facebook has changed the face of everything from job-hunting to high school reunions. But…are we really “friends”?

While this sort of tech feels like an extended appendage one can’t live without for people like me, are our communications improving and clearer — faster and more efficient, yes but — is our eternal search for human connection enhanced, meaningful and fully understood, appreciated as intended?

Right on cue, relationship deepening companies like Microsoft are rolling out the Kin a device specifically for the social networking set to meet up, tweet and fo twizzle with people in their “circle” on the go, and San Francisco start-up, DailyBooth.com, allows 6 million users to leverage “a picture is worth 1000 words” adage and communicate forgoing words all together. Picture this: I’m chanting, “Just because we have the technology, doesn’t mean we’re qualified to use it. Om.”

While (and although) those who know me in RL (I feel safe to report they tell me) consider me snarkily funny, quick witted and utilitarianly clever, and I have developed relationships for literally thousands of clients and friends, have stable personal interactions, online I have experienced: being abruptly schooled and Un-Friended on Facebook, asked to repeat myself in email and a 7th circle of hell loop until even I didn’t understand what I meant anymore, and Denied! by a PR outlet for actually writing too clearly, which  ironically managed to tip my piece over to not complying with their submission rules. I can’t recall experiencing anywhere near this level of misunderstanding and frustration in my RL communications as an adult!

At times like these, all I can do is pray to the Tech Gods to help me accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know when to Shut Down (and yet…stay open). I positively tingle with feeling that all seven of my chakras are pinged and involved in such tech comms bombs and mos def due for an upgrade — there must be a Clarity v.5.0 app for that.

Has technology helped or hindered your communications, deepened or made your relationships shallower? How do you make the most of your communication devices, online communication time, what’s your favorite messaging delivery system? Is it a different experience for you versus the kids in your life?

7.14 UPDATE: Great addition needed to share, ‘Women Feel Need to Always “Be On”‘. Also, ‘The First Thing Young Women Do When They Wake Up: Check Facebook’.

Image: Gurumustuk Singh

SITE IMAGE NOTICE: The images used on this website are believed to be public domain. If you feel any of these images or videos are violating your copyright, please contact (simone.popsmarts@gmail.com) and we will remove them as soon as possible.

© 2010 Simone da Rosa and PopSmarts™. No materials may be used without expressed written permission.


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